Motherhood: a beautiful chaos of feelings!

Being a first-time mom, this is what I feel motherhood is— a beautiful chaos of feelings!! 

One might ask, why do I call it a chaos of feelings? Well, what would you call it when you feel fear, stress, anxiety, happiness, peace, gratitude, pain, love, strength, and weakness — all at the same time? Exactly. A chaos of feelings it is!

Motherhood is a phase in a woman’s life that nothing can truly prepare you for. Books, advice from elders, and classes — they help, yes. But when you finally hold your baby in your arms for the first time, it’s like the entire world shifts. Well, in my case it turned upside down :).

As a first-time mom, I entered a world filled with love, fear, joy, exhaustion, and a kind of strength I never knew I had.

Motherhood is a beautiful journey, only if you have people to take care of you and love you. Otherwise, we all have heard what post-partum depression is, and it is real, trust me. 

During my third trimester, whenever I panicked about the pain, the delivery process, the feeding, or anything, my mother and my gynae would tell , “Every pain will vanish the moment you hold your baby.” And that’s exactly what happened.

In the operation theatre, when my baby cried and the doctor asked me to look at her, I was so overwhelmed and mesmerized — I forgot to even ask if it was a boy or girl! When the nurse brought her to me after cleaning, my doctor smiled and said, “You’ve been blessed with a beautiful daughter.” I can’t explain what I felt in that moment. It was beyond words. As anesthesia had no hallucinating effect on me, my mind was continuously observing and calculating everything. The day she chose to come on earth, a religious and divine day, "Devuthan Ekadshi". I finalized my daughter's name while lying on the operating table.

The moment I came out of the OT, my husband was waiting for me. I looked at him and said, “Vrinda.” He blinked, confused — “What?” I said, “Her name. It’s Vrinda Mehrotra.” He smiled and said, “Okay, but let’s first get to the room and let you rest.”

Motherhood is like a rollercoaster of emotions!  One minute, you will feel overjoyed; The next, you will be overwhelmed. There were moments I looked at my baby and cried from love, and others where I cried from exhaustion, uncertainty, and the thought if I would be a good mother. 

The first month postpartum is the hardest. Your baby needs you for everything— literally everything. Feeding, diaper changes, contact naps, cries of discomfort… all while you're healing and your stitches hurt. There were days I didn’t sleep for even an hour, sitting for 6+ hours straight in a loop of feed, wait, burp, rock, sleep — repeat.

But if you have a partner who understands that his role is just as important, you can sail through the toughest times with love. Yes, I cried from pain, exhaustion, and hormonal imbalances. But the moment I saw her face, I’d think — I can sit another 24 hours for you, my love. I just can’t see you cry. Luckily, I have been blessed with the best husband in the world <3. Yes, I officially certified him as the BEST HUSBAND this anniversary.

Nobody can teach you how to be a mother — not even your own mother. That’s a hard truth. Every child is different, and only their mother truly understands what they need, when they need it, and how much. Yes, sometimes the father gets it too — but not always 😄.

Being a new mom is like being handed the most precious, delicate gift — without a manual. I had to learn to trust myself. How to soothe, feed, burp, bathe — all of it came with practice, mistakes, and little victories. 

Most new moms dread the sleepless nights — and it’s true, nobody else can fully take that from you. People can help, take shifts, offer breaks… but you have to be there. Always.

But for me, those sleepless nights were still the best. Exhausting, yes. But precious. With the world asleep, it was just me and my baby. And that bond — it felt unbreakable.

Motherhood changed me. I met a new version of myself.

My baby taught me that I am capable of doing anything and everything. She gave me courage — to speak up, to protect what I love, and to finally love myself. I realized that if I’m stressed or not loving myself enough, it reflects on her. So I learned to let go. To ignore what doesn’t matter. I chose peace, and learned to silence the noise.

At times I felt lost, unsure of who I was outside of feedings and nappies. But slowly, I started to see a woman emerging who was more resilient, more patient, and more in tune with what really matters.

Joy in the Small Things fills your heart: the way your baby’s hand wraps around your finger, their first laugh, the warmth of their body against your chest. These moments are fleeting, but they are everything. Every milestone feels like a triumph — the first head control, the first weight check, first vaccination, first social smile, first smile after feeding, first everything…

And what first! It’s been five months, and I still can’t stop looking at her. I can’t even stay away from her for an hour without missing her terribly.

Motherhood is not difficult, toxic people make it difficult for you! 

Every taunt, every unsolicited opinion cuts deeper than it should. My advice? Learn to ignore. Don’t let anyone ruin your journey. Never doubt yourself for a second. As I said earlier, only the mother knows what her baby needs. And for that baby, she is the best mother in the world.

Being a first-time mom is a beautiful chaos. It’s messy, magical, and incredibly humbling. If you're on this journey too, know that you're not alone. You're doing better than you think. And most importantly, you're exactly what your baby needs.

Motherhood doesn’t ask us to be perfect. It simply asks us to show up, every day, with love. And that, I’m learning, is more than enough.

Have a happy motherhood all new and expecting mommies!