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Empty herself, still decides to pour..

 A woman (a married woman, a mother), empty herself, still decides to pour,  and yet, everytime she pours, she is expected to do a little bit more... Everyday she wakes up  with a new energy, new smile,  To let the sunshine and fresh air in the house, she opens all the windows and doors, with the hope that may betoda, someone will acknowledge her importance, appreciate her efforts or may be just adore? But, everytime she decides to pour, she is expected to do, just a little bit more... The moment she thinks of filling her own cup, She remembers that the house till needs tidyin up, The baby needs to be fed, its been too late since she is up... Her cup stares at her from the corner, She smiles and asks it to wait again.. He leave for his office,  she still need to rush and rush  so that she can get some time to at least check her emails. If.. oh if the baby decides to take nap, after an hour long efforts, rocking, singing, patting... If the baby sleeps, she r...
Recent posts

Am I Beautiful?

A journey from doubt to self-acceptance, and the realization that beauty was never skin-deep. No One Ever Told Me I Was Beautiful—and, unfortunately, I believed them. For as long as I can remember, I chased beauty without knowing what it truly looked like. From the time I could understand the language as a child, I was hit with the most common “joke” in Indian households: "You’re not really our sibling—your parents picked you up from the trash, or outside a temple." Even as a kid, I wondered: If this were even remotely true, why is it funny? It was hurtful. And it came from those closest to me—my own siblings. The joke settled in my mind like a stone. I kept asking my brother why he said it. What proof did he have? Then came another blow: "Your complexion is darker than ours." He said it gently, like it was a fact. Maybe he didn’t know how it would eat away at my self-esteem. But that was my entry into the world of inferiority complexes. When I would get ready...

Motherhood: a beautiful chaos of feelings!

Being a first-time mom, this is what I feel motherhood is— a beautiful chaos of feelings!!  One might ask, why do I call it a chaos of feelings? Well, what would you call it when you feel fear, stress, anxiety, happiness, peace, gratitude, pain, love, strength, and weakness — all at the same time? Exactly. A chaos of feelings it is! Motherhood is a phase in a woman’s life that nothing can truly prepare you for. Books, advice from elders, and classes — they help, yes. But when you finally hold your baby in your arms for the first time, it’s like the entire world shifts. Well, in my case it turned upside down :). As a first-time mom, I entered a world filled with love, fear, joy, exhaustion, and a kind of strength I never knew I had. Motherhood is a beautiful journey, only if you have people to take care of you and love you. Otherwise, we all have heard what post-partum depression is, and it is real, trust me.  During my third trimester, whenever I panicked about the pain, the...

Summer vacations!

I started writing this blog last to last year, but was unable to complete and post it due to tons of reasons. Unfortunately, in the meantime, my Jhaiji (nani) passed away! While returning from her house, her city, I remembered about this blog and realized that my summer vacations are now over, the happiest part of my childhood is over!!!  Nani k bina koi bhi ghar nani ka ghar nh ho sakta na :) Summer vacations-the best part of our childhood.  Being from a middle-class family, summer vacations always meant staycation at nani house.  Our group would spend a whole month of summer vacations happily in the same house following the same routine of playing Ludo every night, getting scolded every day for getting up late, having yummy breakfast made by my mami ji and nani ji, taking turns to take bath, then taking turns to play video games, fighting and teasing each other, eating kulfi, snatching golgappas from each other, laughing our hearts out, and simply ignoring our holiday h...

GoodBye 2023, Welcome 2024

So, this year has come to an end too. How amazing it is that the excitement of new year makes us all filled with so much joy, happiness, enthusiasm and most importantly HOPE. The hope that the year will bring us closer to our dreams, The hope that the year will not let us down, The hope that this year we will be stronger and happier and calmer like never before. This is this hope only that helps people make resolutions (however, very few people are able to complete them 🤓). This is this HOPE that helps us to try one more time, That helps us to let go of our disappointments and failures and gives the courage to move on.. The time waits for none! But as always we keep waiting for our good times .. It is quite obvious that nobody waits for their bad time, but we can't change the fact of life that if there is day, there will be a night, and a day after that! I hope this new year works wonders for all of us, May all of our manifestations start coming to reality, May all of us remain ki...

Scared of losing myself!

The thing I am scared of losing the most is me! I know, I know the first reaction of anyone reading this or hearing this would be that I am crazy and how can someone lose herself? But we can lose ourselves,  Sometimes partially, sometimes completely. The thought of losing myself scares me the most  Because n othing for me is partial!  Well, this is a side effect of being an extremist!  I live in extremes. There is no gray! It is either black or white!  It is either with me or without me! We often lose ourselves in loving others!  Here, "the other" can refer to family, friends, or even the love of your life! We love so intensely that we offer ourselves completely,  Or, I should say we try to win the other person by giving everything we have! But does it work?  No! It does not work at all! And instead of winning their love or attention or even some space in their thoughts, We end up losing ourselves! We are so busy proving our love to them that we f...

A loop of toxic traits!

A child's mind is like plain paper, whatever he sees around gets imprinted and actually makes his or her personality! But, now when I look back, we are taught these toxic traits since childhood! And I am not quite sure why?  Since childhood, We are taught toxic traits like racism, castism, finding all the negative things in a person, never acknowledging the good people do to us, eavesdropping, never accepting your mistake, always trying to find someone to blame our mistakes on, not being a good listener, always being afraid of losing a relationship just because we did one thing we wanted, and sexism!  I know we are not taught these things in school, and neither our parents make us sit and teach all of this stuff! But, a baby's mind is active since its conception. Even if a fetus is in the womb, the stress or happy hormones of his mother affect him equally. There are many things that we say "ye to pet se hi sikh ke aaya hai" ("he learned this in the womb only...